A lot of you have asked me for a Magic of Making Up review.  You’ve asked about various products out there that claim to help you get back together with your ex in the shortest amount of time possible, but the Magic of Making Up is by far the most requested review of the bunch.  The short version (as my Magic of Making Up review below will get into some hefty detail discussing) is that I love it.  And I usually hate products like this.

The magic of making up review

Note: This is a review for TW Jackson’s The Magic of Making Up.  I do make a commission if you buy the product through one of the links in this Magic of Making Up review, but I would not recommend it if I didn’t think it would seriously help you.

Click here to check it out for yourself.

The Magic of Making Up Review That I Almost Didn’t Write

I usually hate ebooks written about relationship advice.  I’ve only seen a handful of them in my life that are worth the money the “expert” charges for them.  Most boil down to common sense (and some of it is flat out BAD advice from my experience), and their wild claims about helping you get your ex back in five days or less are nonsense.  This Magic of Making Up review, surprisingly enough, calls out an exception to my rule.  TW Jackson has written a book with solid advice that will really help you win back your ex AFTER walking you through the process of deciding whether or not that’s even the right move for you.

Check out one of his videos here for a tip on what you should do IMMEDIATELY if you haven’t already:

Magic of Making Up Review: Magic of Making Up Overview and Contents

At this point in my Magic of Making Up review, I think it’s important to go over in some hefty detail what the book contains, chapter by chapter.  Overall, The Magic of Making Up is a 62 page ebook with 8 chapters, and it sells for $39.  The sixth chapter is the one most focused on the specifics of getting back together with your ex, but the others all detail the context that has to be right for it to work.  He discusses everything from figuring out why your breakup happened, what you should (and more importantly SHOULDN’T) do right away, what steps to take over the next couple months, how to decide whether you even want to get back together, and how to make it happen if you do.  Check out the breakdown:

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 1: Understanding Why Your Relationship Ended (And Why It’s Not Over Just Yet)

The first chapter of TW Jackson’s book is all about relationships and how they can go wrong.  He talks about major differences between men and women and what they want from relationships (this isn’t going to be accurate for every person on the planet, but overall men and women DO want different things from their partners).  He talks about little things like nagging (and the surprising reason that this causes men to run from relationships) all the way to cheating—and he has a way different perspective on this than you would think.

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 2: Don’t Panic – Your Key to Winning Back Their Love (Getting Your Head On Straight)

The second chapter in The Magic of Making Up is focused on getting control over yourself.  This is something I personally advocate a lot if you’re trying to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back, since your emotions can cause you to do a lot of VERY unproductive things and you can drive them away forever.  He covers the reason for that panic you feel after a breakup, why trying to show the other person how much you care about them (smothering them with kindness and affection) is a BAD idea, and what to do instead.

For instance, it’s a REALLY bad idea to even TALK to your ex for a whole month.  In The Magic of Making Up, TW Jackson discusses what you should do if you see them in the meantime (say, at work or school) and what you should do instead of calling them at 3:00 in the morning when you’re a little drunk.

He also gives his Fast Forward Technique, which is a five-step technique to getting over emotional pain.  It involves focusing on your heartache and asking yourself questions about it.  It really helps and I’ve used it myself.  Check out a shortened version of it here:

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 3: Removing the Splinter in Your Relationship (Where Do You Stand?)

This chapter is all about pinpointing your relationship problems and thinking about fixing them.  You’ll make a comprehensive list of positives and negatives about your relationship, learn how to stop feeling desperate to get back together with your ex, and decide whether or not it’s even worth it to you.  This is the stage where you “wake up” a little bit and see past the immediate desperation to figure out whether you even want to get your ex back in the first place.

There are also some really important notes in this section about cheating—the reasons people do it, the reasons people hate it, and how to get past it in your relationship.

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 4: Re-Igniting the Spark of Passion and Desire (The Plan)

Despite the title, this chapter of The Magic of Making Up is all about you and making your life great again.  This is another thing that most “experts” in the relationship field gloss over, but I think it’s some of the most important advice in the book.  The absolute most important thing to do in the midst of a breakup is to CHANGE.

TW Jackson discusses everything about changing your life in this section, from the benefit of changing your appearance (it’s all about a little psychological trickery, but don’t let that scare you) and 6 ways to go about it, to fixing your physical and mental health.  He gives comprehensive exercise and diet advice for getting past your grief, as well as discussing some very important tips for keeping above that black hole of depression that can threaten to swallow you up after a nasty breakup.

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 5: Dates and Lovers – How Other People Can Actually Bring You Back Together With Your Ex

This section covers a counter intuitive fact: dating other people is one of the fastest ways to get back together with an ex.  He covers everything you need to know, from why it works to how to get dates, tips while out on your dates, and how to handle your ex dating someone else (which you may very well have to deal with).

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 6: Easing Back Into Your Relationship to Solidify Your Love

Finally, this is the section that details what you need to do to get back together with your ex now that you’ve set the context with what you’ve done in previous chapters.  He goes over the first phone call (the attitude, the timing, and what you should never do—including leaving a voice mail!), how to get a first meeting with him or her, how long to spend in the first meeting, what to avoid discussing or doing, and how to end the first date so that she’ll be waiting for another one (hint: you’re going to make her wonder if you even want another date).

He also covers what to do at any point if it all goes wrong and you’re heading down a tailspin into misery all over again.  If it’s still worth it to you to keep going, Jackson covers ways to turn it around.

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 7:Maintaining the Fun and Love Without Dredging Up Old Wounds and Arguments

Now you’re back together, and you need to avoid the same pitfalls that killed the relationship in the first place.  In this section, TW Jackson gives you tips on adding fun and adventure, letting go of the past, and handling future disagreements.  He covers forgiveness in a large amount of detail here, and it’s as important as the other stuff so be sure not to skim this section.

The Magic of Making Up Chapter 8: When Your Relationship Can’t Be Saved – Moving On With Grace

Worst case scenario, your relationship can’t or won’t (refusal on their end) be saved.  Here, TW Jackson talks about how to handle that, how to move on, and even how to increase the possibility of turning it around.  You will more than likely not even need this section, but it’s here just in case.

Already interested? Click here to leave this Magic of Making Up review and head over to the sales page.

Magic of Making Up Review: Bonuses and One Time Offer

One Time Offer: Audio Version of The Magic of Making Up

When you purchase The Magic of Making Up, TW Jackson will offer you a chance to get the audio version of his book for $17.  I usually don’t recommend upsells and you certainly don’t need to spend more money to make the system work, but if you are on the road enough that you would like to listen to the book in your car instead of taking up your time at home, this is definitely for you.

Bonus: Mind Magic

Mind Magic is a 23 page ebook that’s packed full of some of the sneakiest psychological tactics I’ve ever seen.  Here are just a few:

  • The Magic Second Chance Letter.  This a letter you can send to your ex REGARDLESS of how badly you’ve messed things up, with certain tricks that guaranteed it gets read and thought about.  I can’t guarantee it will fix things, but it will most likely open the door.
  • How To Get Anyone To Respond To Your Call Or Text Message.  Most people phrase their calls and text messages in ways that seem like they’re obviously begging for a response.  TW Jackson has a different approach, that piques their curiosity and almost guarantees that they will call you back.
  • The Monkey Fist.  This is a secret method that will get anyone to do just about anything if you give it enough time.  Here’s a hint: the U.S. government uses it to get us to hand over a massive chunk of our paychecks every few weeks without even getting angry.

Bonus: Clean Slate Method

This is a 7 page ebook bundled with The Magic of Making Up ebook that is focused on creating the perfect apology in multiple stages.  If you really messed up somewhere along the way, you may really need this method.  I haven’t tried it myself, but I fully believe that it will work.

Bonus: Boost Your Metabolism

This works great to boost the advice in chapter 4 about physical health.  If you have any interest at all in losing weight, this 62 page ebook will show you how to increase your metabolism through food and lifestyle changes.  A lot of these were very surprising to me and I’m sure they will be to you as well.

Magic of Making Up Review Conclusion

I whole-heartedly recommend this ebook, and I don’t do that lightly.  This is solid information that you really can’t find anywhere else.  Even though TW Jackson claims that he is no expert, the Magic of Making Up proves otherwise as far as I’m concerned.  If you’re trying to get your ex back, this is the way to go.

Click here to leave this Magic of Making Up review and check it out for yourself.

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It’s no secret that breakups are tough, and getting your ex back might be the number one thought on your mind throughout most of the day.  Many people have problems with their appetite, with getting enough sleep, with paying attention at work, and pretty much everything else in their lives all because of this one problem.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Getting your ex back insomnia

Getting Your Ex Back Is Tough Without Doing These 4 Things

In this article, I’m going to show you the 4 most counter intuitive and little-known secrets for getting your ex back.  These will help you get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back, save your marriage, or just flat out move on with your life.  They range from quick fixes that are easy to implement to lifestyle changes that can take some time, but I promise that they have all already helped many people get back together with an ex or fix dying relationships.

Getting Your Ex Back: The 4 Little-Known Secrets

Getting Your Ex Back Secret  1: Your emotions are the enemy.

Right now, your insides might feel like they’re dipped in acid.  But don’t let that affect how you handle the breakup or failing marriage.  Your gut might be screaming to beg and plead for them to take you back or to rail against them for making you feel like this, but none of that is going to help your relationship in any way.  In fact, you’re only hurting yourself.

Instead, take a few seconds before you say anything to make sure it’s not emotionally charged.  Control how you act and suppress urges to constantly call, text, or have in-person conversations with your significant other.  This will show them that you are in control of yourself, and they will also wonder if they made a mistake and you are actually happier without them.

Getting Your Ex Back Secret 2: Look your best while you feel your worst.

You might be tempted to let your appearance go a little after a breakup or separation.  You might not feel the urge to shave, cut your hair, or even shower so much.  Your usual wardrobe might suddenly not look nearly as appealing as old tee-shirts and baggy sweat pants.  But even if you feel crappy, people who see you on a daily basis will notice if you start to look that way.  If they know what’s happening in your personal life, they might expect it, but imagine how impressed they’ll be if you look your best despite how they know you must be feeling.  You can bet this will get around to your significant other, and he or she will wonder how you’re doing so well (and again, if they’ve made a mistake).

Another benefit to this is that you will actually feel better.  By now everyone’s heard of the research that shows that smiling actually makes you happy.  Well, acting successful and in control of your life makes you feel as if you are.  And when you feel that way, everyone else picks up on it and will treat you as if that’s the case.  Then you’ll feel even better because of that, and the cycle continues to feed into itself.

Getting Your Ex Back Secret 3: Agree to the breakup or separation.

I’ve discussed this one in several of my other articles, but it’s incredibly important.  If you agree to the breakup or separation, it shows two very important things.  For one, it demonstrates that you do care about the other person and want them to figure out whatever is causing problems in the relationship.  It also shows that you are secure in yourself enough to let them figure things out for themselves, which is a very attractive quality.

If you’ve already argued it to death, many experts say to write a handwritten letter apologizing for your overreaction and stating that you do agree with the breakup or separation after all.  Say that after thinking it over you realized that it’s for the best and wish them well.  Make sure it’s handwritten, since this increases the chances that they will actually read it.

Getting Your Ex Back Secret 4: Use this time to build new and amazing things into your life.

A few years ago, there was a Jim Carrey movie called “Yes Man.”  The main plotline was that Carrey’s character goes to a life seminar and promises to say “yes” to every opportunity that he stumbles across.  This included everything from learning Korean and taking guitar lessons to signing up for a mail order bride service through an e-mail advertisement and a number of other things.  While you don’t have to go to this extreme, now is the time to start experiencing some new things.

Start saying yes to random opportunities.  I once did a clothing modeling gig at a mall because my girlfriend was in the show and they were in need of some male models.  So there I was on the little makeshift runway, with my hair gelled into a mash as if done by a two year old, wearing clothes that were way too teenage sitcom for my taste and smiling for cameras.  I won’t be starting a modeling career anytime soon, but it’s still a hilarious story to tell.

The more of these kinds of experiences you can have, the more interesting you will be as a person and the more fun you’ll have in your life.  The more fun your life is to you, the more other people will want to be a part of it.

The main message behind these getting your ex back secrets: Be someone you would want to be with.

In all honesty, these secrets are all about becoming someone you would want to be in a relationship with.  Each of these is a way to show maturity, caring, fun, and adventurousness.  All of those are attractive qualities and will make other people want to be around you.  If you follow these, getting your ex back or fixing your marriage should be easy.

By the way, I recently wrote an extremely detailed review of The Magic of Making Up by TW Jackson.  You should really check it out, since it’s basically a fool-proof guide for getting your ex back (and I don’t say that about just about ANY book out there).

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If your marriage is failing, it’s hard not to feel like you’re walking on egg shells.  Most people will avoid conversations about it entirely, and when they finally do have a conversation about saving their marriage, it consists mostly of accusations and defensiveness.  This isn’t the way to rescue marriage, and deep down, I think you know that.

How to save marriage

How To Save Marriage And Stop Divorce

But you have to be honest and open in order to save your marriage.  This means having real conversations, without paying too much attention to what you shouldn’t say.  The last thing you want is to be debating over whether or not everything that comes out of your mouth will hurt the other person’s feelings.

However, there are three things you absolutely should NOT do.  They’re easy to recognize while you’re about to do them, so you don’t need to go over all of your interactions with a fine toothed comb in order to root them out.

Save Marriage No-No’s: The 3 Things You MUST NOT Do To Save Your Marriage

Save Marriage No-No #1: Treating the conversation as an academic debate or chess game.

This one is the hardest of each of these no-no’s.  The biggest key here is to make sure you remember the point of what you’re talking about.  When your partner tells you that you put them down, it isn’t because they’re making a case against you.  Don’t demand that they name ONE TIME you’ve ever put them down.  If they don’t have an example on hand, they’re likely to get flustered and say anything they can to poke a hole in your self-righteous balloon.  Then, they’re not likely to bring up anything again without ACTUALLY having a case laid out against you.  This is just not productive.

The point is not to win the discussion.  You’re not out to prove that you’re the perfect husband or wife, and they’re not out to prove that you’re a terrible person.  The goal is to find problems in your relationship and solve them.  So instead of demanding they back up their claims with citations and direct quotes, admit that maybe they have a point and ask them to write down a few whenever they have a chance so you can see what it is they mean.  Keep a level head about it and don’t take it personally.

Save Marriage No-No #2: Sharing intimate details with your friends or family.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with a little venting.  From time to time, you’re going to have some unfair criticisms of your partner that stem from your own frustrations about your life, your career, unfinished yardwork, etc.  But don’t ever bring up personal things like sex issues, emotional outbursts, or financial mistakes your partner makes.  Basically, anything that blatantly makes your spouse look bad and is said for primarily the purpose of doing so, should be something you avoid like the plague.  Think about it—if word gets around to your husband or wife that you’ve been chirping their insecurities to everyone around you, they’re going to lock you out of anything going on inside them.  If they do that, divorce might be just around the corner.

Save Marriage No-No #3: Involving the kids.

It’s ok to tell your kids that you and your spouse are having some problems.  Honestly, it’s almost guaranteed that they’ve already noticed.  But details of ANY kind are not to be shared with them.  It’s unbelievably hard on your kids (not to mention incredibly selfish of you) to put them in a position where they have to form an opinion on whether Mom or Dad are right about something.  And if your spouse starts to believe that you’re trying to turn the kids against him or her, you can kiss any chance of saving the marriage goodbye.

Conclusion: How These Tips Can Save Marriage

While we can’t guarantee that you can save your marriage, doing any of these three things will make it that much harder if not ruin your chances entirely.  They all really come down to one rule: put yourself in your partner’s shoes.  If you can do this, you’re half way to saving marriage already.

Best of luck!

Jack

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We’ve talked a lot about relationships in the dating phase: keeping a healthy relationship, breaking up, and getting your ex back, but we haven’t discussed saving marriage. But several of you have asked what to do when you’re already married and it takes a turn for the worse: you find yourself heading straight toward a future divorce.

Save marriage

Save Marriage Advice: The Need To Save Marriage Even If Divorce Is Right Around The Corner

If your marriage is failing, it can feel like your entire life is slowly crumbling.  As human beings, we put so much emphasis on our marriages that we hang most of the parts of our lives on them.  When most of your world is set to live or die with your marriage, learning how to save marriage is vital.

Before I get into the steps you need to take to save marriage, I want you to take a minute or two and ask yourself: WHY do I want to save my marriage? Am I afraid of what a divorce will do to the kids? Do I want to avoid being judged by family members and friends? Am I afraid that my financial situation will come crashing down on me without the other person’s income or help around the house? These are all things that will likely be in there, but if you want to be happy you’ll need to make sure that these aren’t the MAIN reasons you want to save marriage.

But if you want to reconnect with your husband or wife, rebuild your relationship and be able to spend the rest of your life with them, this article is for you.  I’m not a professional, but in my experience these steps form the main skeleton of the path to reconciliation.

Save Marriage Tips: The Five Most Important Steps

Save Marriage Step 1: Take inventory.

The first thing you need to do is to take an inventory of your relationship.  What are the things you feel your partner has done wrong? What are things that you’ve done wrong? What are the things that both of you have done right and make your marriage worthwhile?

Make a list with two columns.  On one side, write all of your resentments toward the other person.  On the other, write all of the things you appreciate about him or her.  Tell your partner to do the same about you.  When you’re done, look it over.  Is this a relationship you’re getting much out of? Are you interested in saving your marriage with this person? If so, what you need to do now is talk about it.

Save Marriage Step 2: Talk.

This one seems simple but really isn’t.  You can’t just blurt out accusations, deny that they are accusations, and tell the other person that they’re putting words in your mouth.  I’ve covered this piece of relationship advice elsewhere, so click the link to check it out.

Talk about each other’s resentments and appreciations.  Keep an open mind about resentments: some of yours will be unfair (as will some of theirs), but many on both sides will be real things that you need change to make your relationship work.  Do NOT end the conversation until both of you have said a number of resentments and appreciations.  You don’t want to leave things unsaid that will make the next step annoying to you.

Save Marriage Step 3: Inject regular displays of affection into your relationship.

We’re not talking romance or sexuality here.  What you want to bring back in this stage is the companionship that’s the basis of your marriage.  Bring back little things, like a goodbye kiss in the morning or showering together.  If you’re both evening readers, read while sitting next to each other in the bed.  Cuddle before going to sleep and for ten minutes or so during the day.  You’d be surprised how much this can bring back the memories of when you were first companions and strengthen your resolve to make it work.

Save Marriage Step 4: See a counselor.

A lot of people think that marriage counselors are for OTHER couples, the ones with SERIOUS issues.  But marriage counselors are experts and know exactly how to save marriage if yours can be saved.  They will help you work through your issues in communication as well as the personal issues that affect your relationship in profound ways.  People who go to marriage counselors almost unanimously only regret having not gone sooner.

Save Marriage Step 5: Bring back the romance.

Now that you’ve got a good solid foundation of companionship and worked out (or at least examined) a number of the issues in the relationship, it’s time to scatter in a few sparks and reignite the passion.  Put on your sexiest clothes, cook a nice candlelit dinner together (or go out, if the kids make this impossible), drink a bottle of wine and gaze seductively into your partner’s eyes.

At least once per week, have a date night or afternoon together.  This is not optional—set aside time for it every single week.  Do something adventurous (test drive a few of your dream cars, go skydiving, play paintball) sometimes, and some classically romantic ideas (dinner, dancing, etc.) other times.  If money is one of your problems, it doesn’t have to be anything expensive.  My girlfriend and I, being slightly broke, have made Arby’s into one of the most romantic places in town simply by sitting next to each other in the booth instead of across the table from one another.  Once you start getting into the swing of the romance and have brought back your passion for the other person, it really doesn’t matter what you do together.

Save Marriage Bonus Tips

Here are a few extra tips on ways to help your relationship and save your marriage.

Save Marriage Bonus Tip 1: Keep pictures and other visible reminders of your relationship around the house.

Keeping a wedding photo or a picture of the two of you in the beginning of your relationship can be a huge help in reminding you what you loved in the beginning about the other person, and what you still do.  Take a minute and think about other things that symbolize the good times you’ve had and keep them prominently displayed in your house.

Save Marriage Bonus Tip 2: Play the Q & A game.

A fun way to pick up little details about your partner is simply to take turns asking questions about them.  Some can be silly (“If you could transform into a bird, whose car would you poop on the most often?”) and others can be much more serious (“If you were in a car accident, what is the last thing that would go through your mind?”).  Have some fun with it and you’ll be genuinely interested in even stupid details about the way the other person thinks.

Save Marriage bonus Tip 3: Radical honesty.

There’s a book by psychologist Brad Blanton called Radical Honest that takes a very extreme philosophy on the concept of honesty with your partner, your family, and yourself.  He puts dishonesty in one form or another at the top cause for most people’s neurotic stuff (obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, etc.), and shows you how to be an intensely honest person—and WHY you would ever want to do this.  I really recommend checking it out, and you can see it on Amazon by clicking here.

I really hope this has helped you, and feel free to shoot us an e-mail (and join our mailing list) if it has.  We’re also on Facebook, so share this site with your friends who might be having their own marriage troubles.

Best of luck!

Jack

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If you’re trying to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back, you’re probably feeling pretty crappy after the breakup and are hoping to ease that pain by getting back into the relationship.  These tips are mostly designed for those of you who fit that category, so check out my review of The Magic of Making Up if it’s been a while and you’ve decided you want your boyfriend back, you want to know how to get your boyfriend back when he likes someone else, or if you’re trying to get your boyfriend back after cheating on him.  Those are slightly different situations, and TW Jackson’s book is a great resource for them.

How to get your ex boyfriend back

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back: 8 Steps To Successfully Get Him Back Fast

In this article, I want to cover how to get your ex boyfriend back in 8 steps.  This will be similar to my article on how to get your ex girlfriend back, and the main points are the same.  Keep in mind that I’m not a relationship expert (I don’t have a Ph.D. or anything like that), but I’ve been dumped a few times and had some great relationships, and I know a thing or two at this point.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back: 8 Steps In Detail

Here they are.  Remember that these are more of a guide, and you’ll have to calibrate them to your specific situation.  Try to think about the message that each step is conveying to your ex boyfriend, and try to capture that in your decisions.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 1: Get control of yourself.

The importance of this is huge.  You need to be able to reign in your emotions before you do anything else.  This is especially important if you’re trying to find how to get your ex boyfriend back when he has a new girlfriend, or if he broke up with you because of a series of emotional outbursts.  You have to be cool, calm, and collected to win him back.  Think of a pool of water that’s cool and inviting, rather than a boiling geyser that will turn him into stew as soon as he touches it.  It’s far more appealing to get into the welcoming, calm pool.

Another advantage of this is that most people don’t ever learn to get control over their emotions.  Doing so sets you apart from every other girl in his eyes.  This may be a completely different side of you, which automatically says to him that things have changed and you’re a new and mysteriously exciting person.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 2: Agree to the breakup.

If you agree with your ex boyfriend’s reasons for breaking up, it shows maturity and further control over your emotions.  Even if it was a while back, write him a letter and let him know that you agree.  You only need to agree within reason, however.  If he gave your reasons that were directly insulting, say you believe that both of you needed to grow and have space apart from each other.  It can be as simple as that.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 3: Cut contact with your ex boyfriend.

You both need some time away from each other.  Let him learn to miss you while you learn to be without him.  This will also help you clear your head and get out of the in-the-moment emotional mess that happens whenever you talk to him.  From there, you can decide if you really want to be with him or not.  I recommend at least a few weeks, if not a full month.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 4: Work on yourself.

While you’re cutting contact with your ex boyfriend, it’s time to really put some work into your own life.  Now is the time to start hitting the gym more, playing with new looks, and getting ahead at work.  Start feeling great about yourself and the direction your life is going, and it will come out in every one of your interactions with other people.  This is also time to check out the current singles game and rebuild your flirty vibe.  This will come in handy for the next few steps.  If the singles scene seems to be pretty lame in your city, try online—there isn’t a stigma to using sites like Match.com or Plenty of Fish anymore.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 5: Start small and casual.

Now you’ve spent some time without contacting your ex boyfriend, you look and feel great, and you’re ready to get your ex boyfriend back.  First, simply call him and tell him you found something of his while you were cleaning and wondered how he was.  Then ask him to go for coffee or tea just to “catch up.”  This combination is important because it seems natural, confident, and as if you’ve moved on all at the same time.  It’s an attractive combination.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 6: Be a blast from his past.

Your ex boyfriend was attracted to you for a reason.  Probably quite a few reasons.  Think about who you were when he fell in love with you, and try to bring out those qualities in yourself as much as possible.  Most of them should have come out naturally while you were getting your life back together, but think about other specific things. Did he like a certain outfit or color on you? Did you have a running joke in the best of times that would be sure to make him laugh? Did you touch him a certain way (not sexual) that was reassuring to him? Let a few of these slip in naturally, but don’t do too many so that it’s obvious that you’re trying to jog his memory.  If something doesn’t feel natural to you, don’t do it.  Even just one thing will have a huge effect on him.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 7: Increase contact frequency, but DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM until after you’re back together.

This is the stage where you ramp it up, but try to do it as naturally as possible.  In other words, if it feels like you’re forcing plans when he’s reluctant, you’re moving too fast.  Stick to phone conversations, coffee dates, and try to enjoy the moment with him.  If you can’t and are only focused on getting back together, you might want to reconsider why you’re doing this.  You should both enjoy spending time together.

A word of caution: DO NOT sleep with him until after you’re back together.  If you do, it will send the message that he doesn’t need to commit to you any more in order to get the benefit of sex with you.  Just tell him you’re done with casual sex, and he should have more respect for you (even if he protests in the meantime!).

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Step 8: Have “the talk.”

Now you’ve been increasing the contact frequency to the point that you’re seeing him most days of the week, and it looks like it’s getting better and better.  It’s finally time to talk to him about beginning the relationship again.  Bring it up in a particularly good moment in an appropriate setting—coffee is great, a dinner at his place is great as well.  Anything alone and not focused on some third party (say a movie) is great.  Start by saying that you’ve been thinking a little and wouldn’t mind giving your relationship another shot.  Ask him if he feels the same.  Most likely he will, but if not, shrug it off and continue hanging out with him and there’s a great chance he’ll come around.  If not, keep him as a friend and start dating other people.

At this stage, you may even want to find a dating coach to help show you more in detail how to get your ex boyfriend back if this isn’t working for you.  I think it will, however.

Bonus Tips On How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Here are a few extra tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Hopefully they will supplement the previous method so that you have a clearer idea of what to do.

  • Don’t play jealousy games by dating people that he knows.  This includes friends, relatives, etc.  All that will do is push him away faster.
  • Don’t tell him that you miss him.  Just don’t.  It looks clingy and gives him all the power in the interaction.
  • Convey that your time is valuable, but you would like to spend some of it with him.  When you make any plans with him in the later steps given in this article, name two days of the week that you’re busy before giving one that you’re not.
  • Watch your posture.  Be sure to keep a positive, open posture while you’re with him, especially on the first coffee date after not talking to him for a while.  This will demonstrate your newfound confidence and great direction in life.  A closed, drooping posture will indicate that you’re run-down and a little paranoid.  In other words, you’ll be showing that the breakup has been hard on you.

Best of luck!

Jack

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If You Really Want To Get Back Together, This Is How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

So one of you said something stupid, you had a fight, and now you’re broken up.  Breakups are tough, and getting back together is complicated in the best of circumstances.  Throw some money problems, family issues, or even cheating into the mix, and you’ve got a maze to work your way through.  After a lot of experimentation (we’ve had our fair share of breakups and handled them in various ways), here are the surefire 6 steps that will help you get your ex back if it’s meant to be.

How to get your ex girlfriend back

6 Steps To Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back: How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Step 1: Curb your jealousy and self-doubt.

Right now, you have a tangled web of emotions slicing through you day in and day out.  It’s going to be that way for a little while, so you need to learn how to handle it.  The very first thing you need to do is recognize that you don’t have to act on every emotion you feel.  If you get the incredible urge to call her up and beg her to take you back, it’s not going to happen.  Learn to channel it in other ways that are beneficial to you, like exercise or work.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Step 2: Tell her you agree with the purpose of the breakup.

Even if you don’t, say so.  If you’re feeling like begging right now, she probably broke up with you and she has her reasons.  Tell her that you support her decision and think it’s the right one for both of you.  It shows maturity and understanding, and a hefty level of control over your emotions.  Even if you’re secretly scheming at how to get your ex girlfriend back while she’s standing right in front of you, control yourself and don’t act like it.  That leaves things on a good note with her.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Step 3: Cut contact.

As difficult as it may be, you need to stop talking to her.  If she tries to talk to you, tell her you think it’s best to keep your distance for a little while, so you both have a chance to work out whatever caused the breakup.  This does two things.  It shows that you are calm and independent in your life without needing her in it, and it gives you the much needed chance to do some soul searching of your own.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Step 4:  Begin moving on with your life.

This is the most important step.  Whether the breakup was more to do with you or with her, it’s important that you shift your focus to making your life something that you feel great about.  Then letting anyone, whether it’s your ex girlfriend or someone new, into your world is a kind of privilege you’re giving to them.

During this time, start really taking care of yourself.  Work out, eat right, keep yourself well groomed and well dressed, and work on building your confidence when talking to other people (you can see other articles on this site for confidence tips, or join our mailing list and send us your questions and I’ll reply personally).  Be the person you want to be and do the things you need to do to get there, and you’ll be a million times more attractive than you are now.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Step 5: Decide if you want her back.

Honestly, before you do steps 1-4, you aren’t in any position to make this decision yet.  Only after you’ve let go of her and improved your own life to the point that you see it as an honorary place to be a part of it can you even really decide that someone is right or wrong for you.

Give it an honest look.  Now that you’ve taken the focus off of how to get your ex girlfriend back, you can really decide if you even want to get back together.  If you still want to be with her, move on to the next step.  If not, go out there and find somebody better suited to you.  Now that your life is where you want it to be in other respects, you should have no problem forging a great relationship with another attractive girl.  If you’re worried about this, feel free to send us questions about that as well.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Step 6: Get her back.

At this stage, you can simply contact her and say that you want to discuss something with her over coffee.  When you meet her in person (when she sees how much you’ve changed and how confident you are with yourself), tell her you’d like to give it another shot.  Don’t ask for a second chance.  Don’t beg.  Just tell her simply that you’d like to give it another go and see what she says.

She may say no here.  If she does, tell her that’s not a problem (even if it kills you a little inside), finish your coffee, wish her well, and leave.  Begging or arguing at this point won’t do any good, and taking it so well might actually cause her to want you in the future.  In the meantime, go out there and keep improving your life.  She’ll either come around or you’ll find someone better, but don’t ever think that you need one specific woman to make your life great.

Conclusion: Now That You Know How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back, Decide Whether You Want To Be With Her and Go About It The Right Way

Getting your ex girlfriend back isn’t exactly a step-by-step process, but the basic mechanics of it are there and you can easily learn how to get your ex girlfriend back if it’s possible at all.  Leave the relationship on a good note as well as possible, demonstrate that you are centered in your own life with or without her, make your life great for yourself, and offer to let either her or someone else into it.  If you follow this piece of relationship advice, you’ll either get your ex back or find someone who fits into your life in a more meaningful way.  Either way, you’ll come out a winner.

By the way, be sure to check out some of our other articles on how to get your ex girlfriend back and other topics like that one.  We really want to know what you think, so join our mailing list and shoot us an e-mail to let us know.

Best of luck!

Jack

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Do NOT Mess Up This Piece of Relationship Advice if You Want A Good Relationship

Whether you want to maintain a good relationship, fix a broken one, or get back together with an ex, the way you talk to your partner is absolutely crucial.  Conversation skills determine whether your partner understands your problems in and out of the relationship, what you want to change or see more of, and how you see them as a person.

Relationship advice - Communication

Relationship Advice: 3 Essential Pieces of Conversation In A Good Relationship

There are three essential aspects to good conversation skills.  In no particular order (they’re all incredibly important and you need to be thinking about each of them), here they are as we see them:

1. Remember the purpose of the conversation.

When discussing relationship problems, most people forget that the purpose is to resolve disagreements, calm insecurities, or other goals that benefit the relationship.  If you suddenly find that you’re trying to make the other person feel badly about his or herself, you’re failing.  If you’re trying to poke holes in it the way you would an academic argument or changing the subject to something you can lay blame on them for, you’re missing the point.  Remember this relationship advice when things start to get heated, and tone it down to actually find a solution.

2. Shut up and listen.

I know it’s cliché at this point.  Every guidance counselor, salesman, motivational speaker, and neighborhood homeless guy has given you this little piece of relationship advice about a thousand times.  But you can’t get anywhere if you don’t understand the other person’s viewpoint, and shutting up is the only way to get it.

When you listen, remember that the point is to take in the other person’s perspective.  Don’t try to poke holes in it, don’t take it personally, and don’t interrupt them except to clarify something you don’t understand.  It’s like reading a book—you don’t close it and bark your opinion at the author halfway through reading a sentence.

3. Watch your mouth.

Do NOT let loose with something you haven’t mulled over for a second before it leaves your lips.  Take time to think about how the other person is likely to take what you’re about to say, how you want them to feel about it, and whether there is a better way to put it.

If what you want them to feel isn’t productive for the conversation, drop it.  For instance, if you’re about to call them a child, you can guess that it’s going to make them angry.  If that’s part of your goal in saying it (and be honest—it most likely is in this case), it’s probably not worth saying since it goes against the purpose of the conversation.  Try to say it in a constructive way—for instance, ask them why they react to certain things (be specific) by doing X instead of Y (be specific, and don’t act as if action Y is “common sense”.

Conclusion: The Most Obvious Relationship Advice Ever, But Absolutely Necessary If You Want A Strong Relationship

In the end, what you’re looking for is an honest conversation about what the two of you want in the relationship, what you’re getting from it, and where the difference between those two is coming from.  Come to the conversation looking to SOLVE problems rather than make them, and reflect on what you say as you say it.  If you say something hurtful, apologize and figure out why you said it.  Follow this one conventional piece of relationship advice and you’ll be surprised how smoothly your conversations go in the future.

If you find yourself in need of more relationship advice, check out my other pages on this website, or seek relationship advice from a licensed counselor.  You’d be surprised how well this can work for you.

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Welcome!

Welcome to our website, and congrats on having the guts to look for answers to how to save your relationship.  Most people are too proud to admit that anything is wrong, and unfortunately never get the help they need in order to be happy.

Since we just launched, I want to give you a little taste of what you can expect here.

1. Regular tips on improving your relationships.  We’ll be updating often, adding more and more tips on how you can stop fighting, be more honest with your partner, be forgiven for things you’ve done in the past or forgive your partner for their wrongdoings, and generally changing your whole frame of mind so that relationships come more naturally to you.  It’s very important to us that you come away from this website with the strong feeling that you have something valuable to go out and implement in your life, so if you have any questions at all feel free to join our mailing list (there should be a form on the side soon where you can give us your name and e-mail) and we will personally respond to e-mail questions.  We’ll even put the most common ones on here for everyone else to learn from (but don’t worry–we won’t share your name!).

2. Step-by-step instructions for fixing relationship problems.  A lot of you are here because you’re trying to get your ex back, save a marriage, or even just heal so you can get over an ex once and for all.  Whatever the reason, you have a specific problem that you want to fix.  We’ll do our best to show you how in the clearest way possible.  And we do our homework, so these instructions will be patterned off the best advice available from experts in psychology and relationships.

3. Product reviews to save you money and time.  Let’s face it–there’s a lot of crap out there.  E-books written by “experts” are springing up left and right, begging for you to spend your hard-earned money on them.  A few are written by brilliant people who know what they’re talking about, but most are just rehashed advice thrown together by people who want to make a buck.  We’ll make sure you know which are worth your money, and which you should ignore completely.  We do make a commission from products you purchase through our links, but we promise to only recommend the absolute best products and steer you away from the crap.

4. Entertainment galore.  We promise never to stick you with a boring read, yawning your way through piles of wordy articles that don’t do you any good or even cause you to crack a smile.  Our goal is that you’ll come back even after your relationship is fixed, just for the humor and wit of our writing.

5. Comfort and companionship. It’s hard to go through relationship problems, and it helps to know that you’re not alone.  If you need to talk to someone, shoot us an e-mail.  Even though we all have busy schedules, we’ll try our best to get somebody on Skype or AIM to talk to you for a while when you’re feeling down.  A little support can give you more confidence and security, and that will come out in every single one of your interactions with other people.

So check back often because we’ll be posting regularly.  Don’t forget to sign up for our mailing list, since we’ll let you know when we have new articles out.  If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at jack@gettingbacktogetherfast.com.

Until our next update, keep your chin up.  We’ll show you how to save your relationship fast.

Jack

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